Kashi Chocolate Almond and Seat Salt Chewy Granola Bar

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  No because thee fucking sucks!  This was hands down the worst experience I've had as a blogger.  Allow me to list some more pleasurable things than this feces-in-a-wrapper: St. Anger.  Star Wars Episode 1.  Scrubs Season 9 (I don't have any specific link for this one, but it doesn't count without JD).  The car Homer designed.  I took one bite out of this thing and threw it away.  Not away in the trash mind you, away as in physically away from my being to prevent me from even smelling it.
Can I give negative scores?  Because I am.  -1/10.  Kashi will never get a dollar out of me.

PS- I realize that list I provided is not something any female could relate to.  I write blogs about cookies.  No shit, Captain Obvious.

Mama Hebrew Hammer's Christmas Cookie Extravaganza!

Every year my mom makes like a thousand cookies and naturally I have to test each batch to make sure them come out right.  Here's the final product for this year.

Chocolate chip: 11/10

Double chocolate chip: 11/10

Snickerdoodles: 11/10

Magic squares: 11/10

Chocolate chip with nuts: 11/10

Tassies: 11/10

Spritz cookies: 11/10

Lemon bars: 11/10

Chocolate mint chip: 11/10

Did I dunk any of these in milk?  No way.  Do you print out the Mona Lisa on your home computer and hang it on your wall?  You don't mess with art, you monkeys.

That's 9 batches of cookies which each got an 11.  That means my mom's cookies combine for a score of 99/10, completely blowing Godiva out of the water.  Merry Christmas to me!

Bonus review:  The Italian lady next door bakes her own cookies.  We trade cookies which naturally means I have to taste test hers as well.

Some sort of sugared dough bowtie (on the left): 10/10

Chocolate ravioli cookie (top right): 10/10

Homemade candied sugar balls (bottom right): 10/10

Apparently they all have proper Italian names.  I'm not a good Italian I guess.  Although I am a good eater.

Coldstone Milkshakers- My First Beverage Review!

Coldstone ice cream?  Delicious.  Coldstone milkshaker?  Underwhelming.  The fudge taste was too overpowering.  I want an explosion of milkshake in my mouth, not fudge flavoring.  Also, it didn't do much to quench my thirst.  I bought for exactly that reason, and it failed me.  For shame, Coldstone.  4/10.

PS: 'Milkshakers' sounds like some sort of weird pregnant fetish strip club.  I can say that now because my blog can be more PG-13 than Facebook.  Also when this blog makes me internet rich I'm totally opening up Milkshakers.