Friday, September 22, 2017

What Do I Have In Common With That Rash You Told Your Girlfriend Not To Worry About? We’re Both Back!

Image result for simpsons chicken pox
     And just like that rash, this blog is going to get uncomfortable.
     Recently I was at the office and felt nature calling. Unfortunately at this same time, the cleaning guy was just setting up shop in the men’s bathroom. I don’t know if you’ve ever been a snack blogger that’s prairie dogging, but this is no bueno. No bueno at all.
     I decide to use the second floor bathroom. I get there and I’m immediately aware that I have been played like a chump on the third floor. This bathroom has nicer tiling. There’s better lighting. No one misses the seat. Are there downsides here? Yes- the toilet wasn’t automatic, so I had to use my foot on the lever like some sort of commoner. But the biggest shocker here was the sink.
Image result for gilded toilet
     On floor number three, we have the automatic sink that stays on for a predetermined amount of time. Sadly for our environment, this amount of time is about 8 seconds longer than anyone washes their hands for. But on floor number two, they have the manual faucet, as photographed below.
Image may contain: indoor
     Apparently on this strange new world manual faucets don’t need to work. What a time to be alive! Who’s the dipshit that didn’t look at the sink before putting the soap dispenser in? Two things- 1, go back to 11th grade physics and tell me if two solid objects can occupy the same space at the same time. Breaking news, they can’t. I hope someone had the same answer when you asked if you can have a promotion to chief sink installer. And 2, no one uses soap. Just don’t waste my time with that thing. I only use the sink if there’s someone in the bathroom with me, and even then I probably skip it unless they’re a VP.
     In conclusion, I think I might give the second floor bathroom a test run to see if I should make it my new home away from home. I shall report back on this in the future.

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