I’ve been a good friend to John. I made up his guest room (after I passed out naked on his futon). I brought him a bottle of Jager as a gift (and then drank it all myself). I even brought my own cake to the BBQ he hosted that I claimed was a birthday party he threw for me.* And this is what I get in return. The rug pulled out under me on the most public of social media platforms. It’s a good thing that unlike my relationship with the girl in accounting, reviewing is a two way street.
Where do I start with John’s gym? For starters he's English so he named it English Guy Personal Training.** And there is nary a snack bar in sight. And apparently there’s more to working out than just bench and dumbbell curls (sup ladies) so he has all sorts of kettlebells and a rowing machine and some sort of medieval torture device that makes your lats look phenomenal. But hey, no pain no gain, right fellas?
I did a few of his group classes and nearly puked. He’s real big on cardio, like a nerd. Apparently that’s part of being in shape. I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m blasting out 50lb curls. Sometimes we even work out shirtless, but don’t tell his ‘roommate.’ Dan is the jealous type but you didn’t hear that from me. I give his gym a 10/10, but the English are 5 hours ahead, so I guess he gets a 15? How does this work?
* Costco makes AMAZING cakes that you can pick up for $20 and they’re the size of a pillow. I reviewed them once before here.
* Costco makes AMAZING cakes that you can pick up for $20 and they’re the size of a pillow. I reviewed them once before here.
** Jokes aside, he does an annual Row For The Cure to benefit ALS research every June. Last year my group won it all (we even beat an actual rowing team). It's a great cause and groups are always to sign up. Contact John if you'd like to do it.
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