Wednesday, June 6, 2018

2-For-1 Blog: No One Has Congratulated Me On The Saracens Winning The Premiership Finals and I Saw Mastodon and Primus Live

Blog the First:
     First things first: Saracens are the Premiership champions! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to watch most of the game live as I was doing something with my own team at the time. I had to check the score updates on the Twitter machine and let me tell you about the anxiety I had refreshing it occasionally over the course of 90 or so minutes. Exeter Chiefs, reigning Premiership champs, fell 27-10 to my favorite team.

     It’s been over a week since the game. You know what sucks? No one congratulated me on the win. No one even said “Hey good job sticking by this team over the last decade. It’s been real rough supporting a team that makes the playoffs ten straight years considering you didn’t even follow the league until three years ago.” I really needed this comeback after the Patriots also made it to their finals. It’s been a rough sports years for me.
     And in the US I have no one to trash talk. My coach is a Chiefs supporter but that seems like a bad idea *cough cough Cassius Marsh*. I’ve been wearing a Saracens jersey to work on the occasional casual Friday and no one has noticed it. At this point I’m trying to see how long I can go before someone asks who the Allianz are.
     Yes, I ordered a champions tshirt. I spent £22.45 on it. I think you could tell me any amount that equates to in dollars and I’d believe you. But I just got a new credit card and I want that extra 100 miles in rewards points for those times I never take an airplane. I could fly to England to trash talk some Chiefs fan there but I don’t need them coming back at me with things like the economy or international relations or my personality.

Blog the Second:
     I saw Mastodon and Primus over the weekend. If you don’t know who they are, you probably had a better high school experience than I did. (editor’s note:* I read this back to myself and that’s two self-deprecating jokes in a row. Normally I try to space those out but these are two separate blogs so we’re letting it slide) They’re promoting new albums- Mastodon’s Emperor of Sand and Primus’ The Desaturating Seven. 
     Mastodon brought the heavy right off the bat. They played about 5 songs off the new album mixed in through the setlist. There was very little talking from the singers as that leaves less time for headbanging. Brann took center stage at the end to explain the showering process before telling us he was going to get in the crowd and get drunk watching Primus, which was pretty cool since last time a musician I like did that he went in for a kiss.
     Primus had a similar M.O.: less talky, more rocky. Les only really talked once, and let us know when to take our peyote so it could hit right when he starts singing about the rainbow goblins. The middle of the set was their entire new album. Les swapped his bowler for a goblin horn hat for this part which I thought was a nice touch.
     But the real coup de grace was the parking. Driving there, I saw two guys in official-looking reflective vests with traffic cones. Naturally I picked that spot over the dumps in the surrounding area. Six hours later, they were gone, and with twenty of my dollars! But my car was safe... so I guess it was alright in the end?  I'm still leaning towards thinking I was scammed.

* I am my own editor

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