Peanut M&M Is Jerking Off In The Fucking Closet!

     Has everyone seen the new M&Ms commercial?  It's fantastic.  Comedy gold.  Also it has candy in it.  That makes it fair game for one slovenly blogger.

Ok there's a lot going on in this video.  Let's go through a few key plot points.

"One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out... she was. With a couple of guys actually, so... mystery solved." - Dwight Schrute

This is the face you make when your mom catches you watching weird fetish porn

 "My roommates are having another party without me!"- Me, and now this guy too

HE'S JERKING OFF IN THE FUCKING CLOSET!  Did Red seriously invite his buddy to watch him bang that floozy?  I want to know how that conversation went down.  "Hey baby you want some dessert?  How about my buddy Yellow hangs around in the closet and watches me chocolate coat your candy interior?"

Overall I give the commercial a 10/10.  Not many commercials make me laugh 'ol' and this one took me straight to 'mao.'

Now let's take a look at the comments:

Dude you came on here to say that?  This guy definitely gets upset when the plot lines in porn are sub-par.

First off, AWFUL spelling.  Enduindo?  Did you learn English from Iggy Azalea Youtube videos?  Second off, how DARE you call Yellow gay.  He's watching Red bang blondie.  Nothing wrong about watching your buddy's erect chocolate penis.

This is also a good time to bring up the 5lb bag of M&Ms currently residing in my fridge.

Wait, what was that on the top of the bag?

Resealable zipper?  Every fucking zipper is resealable!  If you can't seal it then it's just a goddamn line of glue!  Don't do this to me Mars.  Don't make me buy bulk quantities of your product and then insult my intelligence.  What's next, promoting children's books?  Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!