Marco Rubio Chipped A Tooth On A Frozen Twix Bar (With Bonus Review)

Marco Rubio Describes Chipping Tooth on a Candy Bar
WATCH: Marco Rubio tells South Carolina campaign crowd about chipping his tooth on a Twix bar: "It was a frozen Twix bar, though!"
Posted by ABC News Politics on Thursday, February 11, 2016

ABC News- WATCH: Marco Rubio tells South Carolina campaign crowd about chipping his tooth on a Twix bar: "It was a frozen Twix bar, though!"

Haw-haw!

     What a fucking goon.  You chipped a molar?  Do you know how hard that is?  For those of you who aren't as familiar with the dental arts as I am, let me give you a reminder:

     Literally the strongest teeth in your mouth.  Can we elect a President with such a poor calcium intake that his molars chip on frozen chocolate treats?  I say nay.  I need a leader who can eat not only a Twix Bar, but one that has been in a freezer for three hours.  One who isn't afraid to travel to foreign lands and tell them, "Give me your local desserts.  Give me your poor, your tired, your hunger satisfying snacks."  You know who never* chipped a tooth on a frozen Twix?  Bernie Sanders or Mike Bloomberg.  #IStandWithJew

BONUS REVIEW: Twix Ice Cream Bar

     Alright so it's not a frozen Twix Bar but it's the same concept.  I actually bought this thing in like August and totally forgot about it so I'm rolling off memory here, which is a bad idea since I have a blogger brain.
     It was definitely frozen.  This bar was fucking cold.  I got brain freeze from it.  However, like the true conesser that I am, I have ways of dealing with that.  (Just rub your tongue against the roof of your mouth until it goes away.  You're welcome.)

     There's no cookie in this.  It was replaced with vanilla ice cream.  The move works pretty well.  I'm not a huge ice cream guy but this is a good snack for cooling off on a hot day.  Also it's a bigger bar than average which I always appreciate.  8/10.

* I have no sources to back this up.