Check Out This Asshole Who Thinks She Deserves Free KitKats

You don't deserve those goddamn KitKats!

Source- A chocolate loving student is demanding a lifetime supply of KitKats from Nestle – after buying a multipack that contained eight of the chocolate bars, and realising that none of them had wafer inside.

"The truth of the matter is; manufacturers owe a duty of care to consumers.

‘The specific duty you owe in consistency in your manufacturing process. The failure to take due care in the manufacturing process resulted in a product being defective.

‘As a result I feel as though I have been misled to part with my money and purchase a product that is clearly different from what has been marketed by Nestle.

‘The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance.

‘I would like a full refund of the defective pack of KitKat I purchased. I have also lost my faith in Nestle.

‘Clearly, if I wanted to purchase a confectionery item that is purely chocolate, I would have purchased a bar of Galaxy.

‘I would therefore like to request a life-long supply of KitKat so that I can act as a means of quality control – it appears you need me more than I need you.’"

     What a fucking prick.  How about the fucking juevos on this psycho for thinking she deserves free KitKats FOR LIFE?  I haven't heard anything that preposterous since yesterday when I described myself as a ladies' man.
     "The loss I have suffered is of monetary and emotional significance."  The loss of your teeth when I punch you in the mouth for besmirching the good name of Nestle will be more significant!  How dare you drag them down!
     When I bought moldy Ho-Hos, that are ACTUALLY a legitimate concern, I didn't threaten to fucking sue.  I fired off a couple of angry tweets and Facebook posts.  Oh no, you spent $11 and received perfectly acceptable chocolate in return!  The world is coming to end!
     "Clearly, if I wanted to purchase a confectionery item that is purely chocolate, I would have purchased a bar of Galaxy."  And if I wanted to hire a lawyer with any actual lawyering talents, I wouldn't go to a 20 year old with no concept of what the real world is like.  "Oh but I spent an amazing summer working on a farm!"* Shut the fuck up.  You worked on that farm because wanted you out of the house!  Also, what's a Galaxy bar?  Is that something I need to review?
     "I would therefore like to request a life-long supply of KitKat so that I can act as a means of quality control – it appears you need me more than I need you."  That made me laugh out loud.  That's the equivalent of thinking you're the fastest nerd in your law class, then realizing you're all nerds and you've never seen anyone with a social life go for a jog. Do you know how fucking fast I am Saima?  "I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther."

     Let's discuss what a lifetime supply of KitKats is.  How many fucking candy bars do you eat per day that you're demanding a lifetime supply?  Do you get the whole supply at once and expect it to last 40 years?  (I know she's 20.  I don't expect someone with this outlook on life to die of old age.)  They'll expire you idiot.  Then you'll have nasty KitKats sitting in a box in your garage forever.  Or would you prefer them to be shipped to you a monthly basis?  Then Nestle is fronting your packaging costs so you can be a pig.  And since you bought a multipack and it sounds like you plowed through the whole thing in one sitting, I have bad news for you:  You're going to get diabetes.  Trump card, asshole.
     Hey Saima, if you're still hungry here's a bird I cooked for you:


     Also, Nestle, hit me up.  I'm willing to sell good reviews in exchange for free snacks.  You don't even have to give me a lifetime supply.  Just like a sample pack is good.  I've been eating your products for years and my brand loyalty is off the charts if we're living inside Saima's little perfect world of wafers.

* I have no idea if she has ever even been to a farm.