Applebee's Chocolate Chip Cookie Sundae

     Prior to a screening of Deadpool, I and several acquaintances stopped into an Applebee's for dinner.  Naturally I skipped the dinner part and went straight for dessert.
     My buddy Savion works at Applebee's so I used his insider knowledge when picking dessert.  He suggested the Chocolate Chip Cookie Sundae.  Who am I to argue with a professional?  (I'm the Hebrew fucking Hammer, that's who)
     I wanted to give this dessert a 10.  I really did.  Great execution, highest quality ingredients my $5.99 can buy, some sort of plate I assume they bought in bulk.  But there were two things that stopped a perfect score.

     1) Presentation.  Look at the size of that plate compared to the actual dessert itself.  You can't fill half my plate with whipped cream and expect a blogger worth $0.90 to not notice that.  It's the same reason doctors and nutritionists and my mom always tell me to use a smaller plate.  Smaller plates mean smaller portion sizes.  Bigger plates mean bigger portion sizes.  It's all mental.  Too much empty space on a serving plate and it distracts from the meal itself.  Just ask Gordon Ramsay, I'm sure he'll you the same fucking thing you damn bloody oaf.
     2) The cookie.  The cookie was good.  But not great.  Halfway through eating it, I found out the bottom was a little overbaked.  Normally that's not a problem, but when all I have is a spoon I can't cut into it.  Have you ever tried sawing through a crisp cookie with a spoon?  I shouldn't be allowed in the public in the first plate and now I'm stabbing my baked good with a blunt object.
     I give it an 8/10.  If I had gotten any other cookie it probably would have been a 9.  And if they had given me a smaller plate it could have been a 10.  But rules are rules, and I can't change my grading system.

PS- Deadpool was an A.  Oh Andrew don't you mean a 10/10?  Nope.  I don't grade movies on a 10 point scale like some barbarian.