BREAKING NEWS: Chewy Chips Ahoy Changes Their Formula- A Nation Outraged

     I was all set to post about Chewy Chips Ahoy.  I had it all set up and ready to post, and then I bought another box of them after seeing they changed their recipe.

     First let me tell you about Chewy Chips Ahoy the way I choose to remember them- the old way.  When they say 'chewy,' they're being humble.  Imagine, if you will, a cloud or a big beautiful pair of breastesies.  That was how soft and inviting they were.  They were a delight to eat.  I know I blog about Oreos an unhealthy amount, but these may have been my favorite cookies ever (after Mama Hebrew Hammer's Christmas cookies).  They were sold in bulk, delicious, and soft.  I imagine this is what Axl Rose had in mind when he penned Sweet Child O Mine.  They were 10/10.

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     Then they decided to change things.  "Now better tasting?"

     Who did you poll to get a preference?  Ted Cruz's mistresses?  If they're willing to let Ted Cruz and his slimy, misshapen penis inside them, then they're not a reliable source for cookie taste!
     Are they still chewy?  Yes, but in the sense that a yoga mat is chewy.  Instead of being like a brisket and falling off the bone, they're now bendy and disgruntled.  My big white cloud has turned into a hailstorm.

     Am I feeling angry and betrayed?  Yes.  That is exactly how I feel.  It's not even like they sacrificed flavor for chewiness.  They just don't taste as good anymore.  4/10.  For shame, Chips Ahoy and/ or Ted Cruz's hookers.