Metropoulos is in contract to purchase the notorious party palace, though he won't call it home just yet. Playboy's 90-year-old founder, Hugh Hefner, will get to stay at the mansion for the rest of his life per the terms of the sale.
Metropoulos co-manages Metropoulos & Co. with his billionaire father Dean. Their firm made headlines three years ago when it won the bid to buy Hostess Brands via a joint venture with Apollo Global Management. He previously served as co-CEO of Pabst Brewing Company.
Alright there are two ways for me to view this. I'll start off with the one that affects normal people.
I'm not sure how this is going to impact the company itself. The whole SFW magazine thing is already a major change of direction for an internationally recognized brand. That's not my wheelhouse.
How about Hef getting to live in the mansion until he dies? So this 32 year old gajillionaire is just gonna let a Vaigra'ed up Methuselah live in his house for a vague number of years? What happens when Hef dies? Is he being buried on the mansion property? That'd be a real mood killer. "And here we have the famous grotto. Over here is the zoo. And right here, buried under this statue, is our dead founder." Nothing gets the bunnies in their bikinis faster than a dead old man.
This also means that Batman (Metropoulos, Metropolis, Batman, saves the day. Flawless logic. Always play up the rich guy's ego if you're trying to brown nose) gets his pick of the bunnies right? In my head I'm picturing him walking to up to the girls and they just sorta go along with his awkward small talk because I think this means he's paying their salaries now. "Hey there Sara Underwood, I'm the new owner of the Playboy Mansion." "Nice to meet you, I have to go feed my dog." Boom roasted.
Onto part two. This is great news for me. Models love two things: funny guys and being better looking than other people. And with Batman owning Twinkies I have an in. "Bro you bought out Twinkies? What a coincidence, I gave the new recipe a 10/10." "Oh wow thanks Andrew, I really appreciate that. Why don't you come hang out at the mansion some time? Some of the bunnies have bad vision." "Sounds like a plan Batman!"
As all of my readers know, I am the definition of the person you enjoying laughing at. And have you seen me? (I'm not putting a picture of my face in here for obvious reasons) The girls won't have any trouble being better looking than I am. Basically I'm just one viral blog away from being like Will and Carlton when they visit the mansion.
I promise to you, my loyal reader(s), that if I ever get an invite to the Playboy Mansion I will live tweet it or Periscope it or something along those lines. Basically I'll get you guys watch me get shot down numerous times as it happens. It only takes one girl to find me funny. I can be like Nikki Sixx- talentless and divorced from a Playmate. That's every guy's dream.
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