Ted Cruz Thinks Hillary Clinton Has Been A Naughty Girl And Needs A Spanking (An Erotic Fan Fiction In One Act)

SOURCE- "Was Secretary Clinton awake or asleep when four Americans were being murdered? We don't know to this day," Cruz told supporters at a coffee shop in Charles City, Iowa. "We do know Hillary told her daughter Chelsea, 'Well gosh, I knew it was a terrorist attack,' while we were out telling the American people it wasn't. You know, I'll tell you, in my house, if my daughter Catherine, the 5-year-old, says something she knows to be false, she gets a spanking."

     There are days when I wonder why I blog.  I'm worth 87 Internet cents.  This blog is hemorrhaging money.  But then... there are days like today.  Ted Cruz wants to spank Hillary Clinton.  I couldn't make this up if I tried.  As a blogger with a vendetta against Ted Cruz, this is what I live for.  Now, I could provide you with any number of examples as to why Ted Cruz's logic could be used on him and mean that he also needs a spanking.  Instead, I'll just leave you here with this retelling of what actually went through Ted Cruz's head in my head.

"Hillary, do you know what you've done?"

"No Ted, what happened?"

"You lied, and do you know what we do to liars?"

"Mmm, please tell me."

"Liars need a spanking."

"Teach me a lesson, Ted!"

"Please, call me... Senator."

"Show me your Bill of Rights!"

"So this is what it feels like?!"