It's Halloween!

(I know I used this comic last year.  It's still fucking hilarious.)

     It's Halloween!  And that means last night was Mischief Night.  It rained where I live so unfortunately there were no kids to scare.  Two years ago I caught some little shit rubbing Vaseline on my car so I chased him down and yelled at him until he messed his pants.  Talk about a natural high.  And because of that bad weather this year there wasn't anything.

     Hopefully your office isn't going too wild with the Halloween party.  No need for Dave in Accounting to come in dressed like the baseball bat guy from Walking Dead and act like everyone needs their skull caved in.  Chill out dude, I still have people to not call and Excel sheets to not get done.  Go bother someone who's actually talked to you in the past 4 months.

     That also means office Halloween parties, letting you break out of the cube farm for 15 glorious minutes and maybe even see daylight.  Go straight for the candy and prepackaged goods so the office baker doesn't make it awkward when they ask how their shake n bake cupcakes taste.  Or even better, skip the party entirely and take a nap in your car.
     What about when you get home?  Some window licker is gonna come to your house and mooch all your candy.  That's not fair at all.  Maybe today there's a bit more traffic than usual coming back from the office so you miss a few kids.  Or maybe it was a rough day at work so you need to lay down.  The kids will never know the difference.  Just don't answer the door a few times and hopefully they get the hint.  Halloween is about laughing at walks of shame, not giving you my precious candy.