Chocolate Hazelnut Oreos

     Let’s call a spade a spade here and say these are Nutella Oreos. Chocolate hazelnut is Nutella. Xerox, Kleenex, Frisbee. They’re all in the same category of no one caring what the real product name is.

Oreo Subscriptions Are For Nerds and Poors

As pointed out to me by my good friend RJ (congrats on the honeymoon), Oreo and Amazon are teaming up for a monthly delivery service. Let’s break down the basics of it.

* * NeW yEaR nEw Me * *

     For my New Year's Resolution this year I decided not to make a resolution.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I don't need one.

Hershey's Gold Peanuts And Pretzels

     The invention of wheel. The Beatles performing at Shea Stadium. Tom Brady’s first start as an NFL quarterback. These are all historic events that people will remember for millennia. The release of Hershey’s Gold Peanuts and Pretzels is not one of these. Hershey’s first new product in over 20 years doesn’t live up to the hype. I wanted to love it. I really did. But just like my neighbor with his kid, there’s no love here.
     Now you may be wondering, “Hey Andrew why couldn’t you take a picture before breaking into a billion pieces?” Well to that I apologize. This was second rate journalism by me. I bought this at QuickChek one drunken night and left it in my jacket pocket. When I got to work Monday I found this bar still in my pocket and smashed, presumably from when I thought I could hop the fence behind Just Jake’s.

     Brokenness aside, this candy bar was a bit of a let-down. The main issue is how salty it is. The saltiness of the peanuts and pretzels combine for a lot of saltiness. I enjoy the occasional salty snack but this was too overpowering. The crème wasn’t prevalent enough to my liking. Its flavor wasn’t strong enough to break away, just like Ben Roesthlisberger when he walks by a PF Chang’s. Also, they organized the pieces very oddly and that bothers me more than it should. The peanut flavor was the strongest, and the pretzels pretty much only provided texture. It wasn’t a bad candy bar but I wouldn’t reach for it again. 6/10

Late Night Snacking For My Blog's Third Birthday

     Everyone knows Wawa is a magical place. I stopped at a Wawa recently, intending to get a sandwich, but not turning down the opportunity to sample a Wawa cookie and/ or brownie. Well I ate the cookie too quickly to get a picture, and they were fresh out of brownies. Luckily I plan ahead so I also snagged this little German delicacy.
     This is a pretty straightforward chocolate bar in that someone took a chocolate bar and loaded it with coconut. We can all agree this is a quality combination, not unlike chocolate and peanut, Brady and Belichick, or Jager and Red Bull.

     Now then, there was a slight issue with the handling of this chocolate bar. I attended a rugby match and had to leave this in the car, as I needed a snack for the drive back. What I didn’t plan on was the heat. I know this is silly of me since it was in the mid 80s that day, but when your name has “sport” in it I expect you to keep your cool when things heat up. I couldn’t enjoy my chocolate bar after the game because it was essentially pudding. I had to toss it in the fridge when I got home.

     Day 2, we can finally open the wrapper without having a thick brown fluid coating my pants. Totally worth the wait. Turns out in addition to Oktoberfest, Germans are pretty good at making chocolate. I put this milk chocolate at one of my top three brands, along with Cadbury and Milka. The coconut was light and fluffy with enough texture to leave me yearning for more. And they even got the ratio down perfectly, I assume thanks to decades of experimentation. Also, that OCD square grid is genius. I can keep saying “I’ll have one more” since they’re small enough to not feel guilty over.
     I give this bar a 9/10. Ritter Sport lost one point for not being able to keep together. Otherwise I plan on buying more of these off Amazon.

PS Congrats on your blog's third birthday Andrew!  Gee thanks guys!  Really appreciate all the well wishes today.  It means a lot.

The Only Mystery Behind Mystery Oreos Is Who The Fuck Thought They Were Ok To Sell

 

     I know I rip on Oreo a lot. Apple Oreos and Thin Oreos are a slap in the face to all hard working snackers. But this Mystery Oreo shit is just that- shit.

Tacoria Nutella Nachos

     I went to a friend’s house for the VA Tech – Clemson game a while back. Naturally we had to order food so after burgers we went to the taco place in Montclair. Daddy completely broke character when someone requested Nutella nachos as a last minute addition to the order, which was good news for me since I get to blog about them.
     This whole ordeal was treading new ground for me so I’m going to break it down into pros and cons.