Does South Park Think Being An Internet Commenter Is Easy?

"You're Not Yelping"- Watch it HERE

     Last night was a new episode of South Park that hit a little too close to home for me.  No, it wasn't Jewbilee.  The new episode was talking about how everyone and their mother is a food critic these days thanks to Yelp.
     Yelp?  You people think you can just write up a few sentences and grade something on a 5 point scale.  It takes a true warrior to write up a few paragraphs and grade it on a 10 point scale.  I put in blood, sweat, and tears into this blog.  Yes, one time I cut my finger on a jagged plastic case.  I've sweat from walking down New York blocks looking for something to sample.  And I cry because I had 70 cents in my account after 11 months and today it went down to 68 cents for some fucking reason.
     I took a few screenshots of the episode to give you an idea of how it holds up to real life.

Do you people think my blogging life is glitzy and glamorous?  Here's a picture of where I do my blogging.  You can see the ass sweat stains.  I do this not for joy, nay, for my civic duty!

"I know they need me and that's enough."
I'm not the hero you need.  I'm the hero you deserve.  (Did I quote that right?)

I've never gotten preferential seating due to my blog.  The closest I got was one time a cookie vendor said something like "Hah.  That's cool.  That'll be $2.50."

This is pretty accurate.  People everywhere are enjoying life around them, while I sacrifice my time and food to bring you the lulz.

That one kinda happened to me one time.  I was at a party and someone came up to me and said I should try all the snacks they have.  It was really awkward because he watched as I got my food and ate it.  I'm a blogger, not a piece of meat!

Come on man, that hurts.

This is what I need to happen to TastyKake.  Just awful products all around and they never seem to respond to my tweets.

"I'm now the leader of thousands of people, and they all hang on my every word."
That's why I got into this game.  You think I blog for the women?  Please.  I've added 21 Facebook friends in 2015 literally 0 of them are women.  Also... we're both Jewish.

A thousand people who all think they're important?  What is this, Buzzfeed?

NOT ON THE OREOS!

And on top of my commentary, the new season has all been pretty spot on.  This was a kickass episode, I give it a 8/10.

PS- Too many Yelpers, not enough bloggers.

PPS- Our Instagram account!