Wat Snack Is Ur Fave Presidential Candidate?: The Dems

     I'm sure a few of you have figured out by now that I'm a fan of the Jon Stewart family tree of television shows.  What does that have to do with me running a snack blog?  Well, I'm a glutton.  Sue me.  But that doesn't mean I can't work in some political 'humor' into what I write about.

     Naturally I decided to compare each major candidate to a snack.  This is going to be a new running segment to go along with the fall flavor everything.  And yes, I know the election is over a year away, but I can't have everyone Walkering out on me and killing my material.  First up is the Democrats.

Get those kids off my lawn!

Bernie Sanders: KIND Bar. This or PBR. Hipsters.

Don't ask about the emails.  Don't ask about the emails.  Don't- shit!

Hillary Clinton: Hershey Bar.  Not your first choice, but it's the only snack you recognize that you're not allergic to.

He said doody!

Lincoln Chafee: Rice cakes.  They're technically a snack, even if nobody eats them.  Just like Chafee is technically a candidate.

I'm going to tell you all about the enemies I killed with my bare hands!

Jim Webb: Beef jerky.  MADE FROM MEAT HE HARVESTED HIMSELF.

Somebody's finally paying attention to me!

Martin O'Malley: Did you know Bubble Tape still exists?  I bet your answer for that was the same as for your answer to "Is Martin O'Malley a Presidential candidate?"

Ask me about my wiener!

Joe Biden: Fiber One Bar.  Is this a snack?  Is he running?  I'm not a doctor, I don't know.

Next week we start in on the Republicans!