Oreo Needs To Slow It Down With These Shitty Ideas

     I am not buying that special edition flavor Oreo thin garbage.  Regular Oreo thins fucking suck.  Marshmallow Oreos are mediocre.  Mint Oreos are actually pretty good.*  But thinning out any Oreo instantly makes it shitty.  Tell all your friends Oreo thins have to go to the way of the dodo and NSync (sorry white girls).  We will lead the revolution!

     Oh look, a part 2 of shitty ideas.  Oreo is just straight up looking around at a mall, finding something edible, and making it into a cookie.  I checked my last four new Oreo reviews and these were the scores:
Lemon Twist: 4/10
Brownie Batter: 5/10
S'mores: 3/10
Red Velvet: 5/10
And all of them come in 2/3 size packaging which is still full price.  So you're getting a shitty cookie and less of it.  Well, fuck that.  I'm going to buy this anyway because I'm hopeless.  But only so I can rant about how much I hate it.
     Oreo is turning into that band you loved from the 80s or 90s that can't handle being on the wrong side of 50.  At that point you just need to keep going on tour.  Maybe every few years you put out a new album with a single that might get some radio play and attract some listeners who were too young for you the first time around.  You don't need to put out an album every year or two and act like you're edgy.  That's Oreo's problem.  They're 55 and think they have the cool factor of a 25 year old.  Just keep pumping out regular Oreos and sometimes I'll switch things up with peanut butter or mint.  GTFO with Cinnamon Bun and anything thin.

* Just realized I don't have a review for them, I'll have to fix that.

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EDIT: Shortly after posting I realized #OREOThinsAreIn is trending on Twitter.  Have they read my blog?  Oreo thins are most certainly NOT in.  They suck.