Wat Snack Is Ur Fave Presidential Candidate? The GOP's Big Kids Table Part 1

     Part 2 is going to focus on the main stage of the Republican nominees.  I could easily do all the candidates in one blog, but I figured I could drag this out a little bit longer.  Also I can only tag so many people when I put this on Twitter.  We're going to start off with the adult Thanksgiving table, based on what I remember from the CNN debates.

     After I posted about the Democrats, half of them dropped out of the race within a week.  My blog killed Chafee's, Webb's, and Biden's campaigns.  I am literally that powerful.  Why not post about Trump today?

I swear the eclair was thiiiis big!

Chris Christie: Donut.  Come on, do I need to explain this one?

It's not racism if I only hate Mexicans!

Donald Trump: Twinkie. I mean, between the two of them they've declared bankruptcy four times.

Honorable mention: Warheads, because that's where he will take us. (h/t Jon)

I've never given a high five before, did I do it right?

Jeb Bush: New Coke.  Relabeling the can will make everybody forget it's the same thing as the old Bush(es) Coke.

Nobody tell the voters my real name is Rafael!

Ted Cruz: That fucking haunted house kit I hate.  I fucking hate you, Ted Cruz.