Robert Heinlein Predicted The Future! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

     THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!  REPENT NOW!  (And take a moment to enjoy this phenomenal image)

     Nah just screwing with you.  But Stranger In A Strange Land is about to become a reality.
     For those of you unfamiliar with what I'm babbling about, here's a brief history lesson:  Robert Heinlein is one of the best selling science fiction authors of all time.  His book SIASL is one of my favorites.  It's one of the first appearance of a water bed in art, which prevented someone from patenting the idea decades later.  Let's take a look at a few key points that happened in the book:

This story takes place after World War 3 where religions have become political powerhouses.  Is that familiar to you?

(Gonna get a LOT of heat for that one)

A manned mission to Mars is launched.  The Envoy arrives on Mars, with four men and four women on board.  Gee, where have we heard this in the news recently?

Leave me to explain to you what happens when the Envoy will arrive: They will land safely, but quickly cease communication.  While on Mars, the eight crew members will make contact with sentient alien life.  MARTIANS FUCKING EXIST.  Also, they are apparently pretty laid back.  Two crew members will cheat on their spouses (who are both on Mars also) and give birth to one Valentine Michael Smith.  The original eight crew members do not survive, and Mike is raised by Martians with little understanding of English, Earth, or humans.

Mike has never met a human female, and does not know how to interact with them.

(Cool Pope Francis probably still has to fight back hoards of groupies)

The concept of religion is unheard of to Mike, beyond the idea of 'grokking.'  Literally, grok means 'to drink.'  Figuratively it means 'to drink in all available aspects of reality', 'to become one with the observed.'  This stems from the lack of water on Mars, making it something precious to be shared among your 'water brothers.'  Oh wait, you say there's very little available water on Mars?

(There's water on Mars now!)  

After learning of religion and God, Mike concludes that we must all be God.  Enter his famous line, "Thou Art God."  Mike also comes into several fortunes stemming from his biological parents, 'legal' parents, and the fact that as the first surviving human to set first on Mars, he has legal claim to the entire planet.  He studies many religions, and founds his own church, The Church of All Worlds.  The Church of All Worlds is a church based around his concepts of life and death as a Martian and as a human.  It is driven by exorbitant money from the worshipers.  Because religions have so many legal freedoms, they can essentially get away with whatever they want.  One church in the story only allows followers to buy alcohol from approved vendors.

(That's a 'church,' wink wink)

You guys know what megachurches are, right?  Recently they've been accused of some absolutely absurd shit, like asking their followers for $300 each to buy a $68mil plane.  Or this church, which is asking for MONTHLY DONATIONS IN THE THOUSANDS (and encourages 'social events' like the Fosterites).  You can also check out John Oliver's church.  And in the story we have Mike doing something similar.  He convinces his followers that if humanity does not re-shape itself more to the mold of Martian society, they will come and destroy us like they did Phaeton (supposedly the planet that was destroyed and formed the asteroid belt.)

(Pat Robertson, seer of the tapes, knower of the episodes!)

So you're saying if we don't change our ways, they'll come down from the sky and bring about the apocalypse?

BOOK SPOILER ALERT (I give away the ending of SIASL)

As the Church of All Worlds gain followers, a rival church is none too happy with the competition for going to heaven or something like that.  (I don't need a picture for that one, if you can't get your own mental image then you probably didn't make it this far in the blog.)  Mike is killed by the other church's members.  Which, sadly, is not anything new or modern.

Also, here's a quote from Jubal Harshaw that is still relevant today:
"I mean it. A confidence man knows he's lying; that limits his scope. But a successful shaman believes what he says — and belief is contagious; there is no limit to his scope."

Thus ends the relevancy of Stranger In A Strange Land in today's world.  We're definitely doomed.

PS- I've been itching to use the word 'sheeple' for like a year.  I'm so glad I finally got that out.

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