Happy Birthday, Ted Cruz! Just Kidding, Get Fucked

Completely unbeknownst to me, yesterday was Ted Cruz's birthday.  I totally dropped the ball on that one.  I decided to be nice to my favorite Presidential candidate and write him a blog for his birthday.
     Dear Ted, I know you're just like every other American male.  Naturally this means you like fart jokes.  And since it's your birthday, let's throw some cake in there!  (Honestly this cake looks delicious, 10/10, totally wish it was my birthday so Ted and I could have a joint birthday party and share that cake).  Blogspot won't let me link non-Youtube videos, so here's your link Ted!





     Did you watch the video yet?




     Sorry about that, but now we can get to the real blog.  A number of factors went into me deciding to write about him again.  Primarily was the fact that after my Wat Snack Is Ur Fave Presidential Candidate? series, 4 candidates dropped out within a week of me writing about them.  Hopefully this blog keeps the ball rolling and Boondock Saints his campaign.
     Factor deuce was Lindsey Graham dropping out.  You know how Ted Cruz tells me this?  He sends me an email with the subject "campaign suspended."  Not even fucking capital letters.  Just cockteasing me to make me think his run is over.  Nope!  Lindsey Graham is done so Ted has to get my hopes up.
     Here's the meat of this blog though.  A few weeks ago Jon Stewart made his return to The Daily Show to bring up a topic near to him, the Zadroga Bill, which provides federal health care to 9/11 first responders.  The Zadroga Bill was passed for a temporary amount of time, but was actually DEFEATED in 2010 following a GOP filibuster and failing to reach 60 votes in the Senate, 57-42 (source).  It was eventually passed by Congress later that year, but  ran out this past October.

     A few months ago I wrote about Ted Cruz's views on 9/11.

(source)

     I used a few different topics from what I'm using today, but this was essentially my long-winded response:

(source)

     Oh, interesting.  Paul McCartney, one of the most famous musicians of all time, who happens to play rock music, held a benefit concert.  And it raised over THIRTY FIVE MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS.  Curious how many rock musicians are on that list, isn't it?  

     I'm glad Ted took the time to educate me on how much rock music doesn't care about 'real' Americans.  You know, like first responders who suffered often-terminal health complications 

from rushing into Ground Zero and rescuing survivors.

Read the original letter here.

     And guess what?  Cruz still hasn't signed on to support the bill.  (Source, click on "Senate" on the top right).
     You're right, Ted.  You didn't like how rock music responded on 9/11.  Supporting firefighters, police officers, EMTs, widows, and children isn't what your campaign is about apparently.  But hey, happy 45th birthday.