SHOCKING: The Office Cafeteria Added A Third Cookie; Completely Ruins My Showdown

(Read the original showdown here)

     Breaking news! The office cafeteria added a third cookie. The fuck is this? You can't add another cookie after the official blog review has been posted. That's messing up the rules, and in this country we leave that to our politicians and referees.     Here's the clincher though: This macadamia white chocolate chip cookie would have won the contest in a landslide. It's not that this cookie is amazing, it's that the other cookies are the snack food equivalent of Ted Cruz's pressing points. This was a decent cookie, don't get me wrong, but if I nearly break my fucking tooth on a chocolate chip cookie then someone needs a stern talking to via Gordon Ramsay.

     For me, macadamia isn't something I normally go for. But the rules of the blog say I have to try all the cookies, and this is a cookie. Therefore I was obligated to sample and write up an addendum to another blog in order to maintain my integrity. (You hear that Goodell? Keep that word ready to throw around all willy-nilly like once #ConcussionMovie comes out.)
     Where was I? Right, three paragraphs later and I'm finally discussing the cookie. It's a good cookie. Way, way, waaay softer than that other drek Dartcor spits out. This one was pretty decent. It was firm and chewy. I'm not a big fan of macadamia though. I don't find the taste offensive or anything, it just doesn't appeal to me. Kind of like when all your friends are obsessing over a new TV show and you just don't find it interesting.


PS- If you're wondering why I worked Ted Cruz into this blog it's because A) it's an apt comparison. 2) I still hate that lowest common denominator of a politician. D) I signed up to have a free lunch with him (for the pageviews of course) which means I'm on his email list, and he's keeps telling me his campaign funds are circling the drain. Good for you, you ignorant fear monger. Maybe the voters finally realized that even Kim Davis kicked you aside, or that you have trouble getting past the pictures in NatGeo for Kids.


PPS- This is a long blog for just a cookie.


TL;DR- This cookie wins the showdown of the other two I blogged about a few weeks ago.