How Insulting Is Texting Me A Cookie Score?

     How about the fucking balls on this guy to not only score a snack right under my nose, but to decide it gets a perfect 10?

     That takes some serious cajones.  You don't go up to Tom Brady and tell him you threw a perfect fade.  You don't tell David Gilmour how much sustain you can hold on your guitar.  And you don't tell the Hebrew Hammer that you give a promotional cookie a perfect score!
     I got cuckolded so bad now I'm blogging about it.  How much real estate is this cookie taking up in my brain?  Apparently more than I own outside my brain.  It feels like someone ripped the carpet out from under my feet.  Then they rolled up the carpet and smacked me upside the head with it.
     Do they sell these in stores?  Uh, hell no.  If they sold them in stores I would have bought them.  And I haven't bought them, so therefore, they are not sold in stores.  Deny that logic, I dare you.  Also I know that because they have a company logo on them and generally Shop Rite doesn't sell things that wouldn't be sold in stores.

     And then he fires in by telling me I would cancel my blog after reviewing this.  Does he think finding the best snack is my goal?  My goal is satire.  I've gotten some comments leading me to suspect not everyone knows this.  The goal here is satire.  I chose snack reviews because I'm a fat kid and I don't have to interact with anyone while doing this.  Cancelling my blog would A) be good for my health and B) free up my time.  Which gives me no choice but to keep blogging.  My people need me!

PS- Is this what the hip people these days referring to as "throwing shade?"  I'm not popular so I don't know today's lingo.

PPS- Normally I put a blog up every 3 days but I held off an extra for this one (not that any of you noticed).  My buddy Dan is in bed following knee surgery so I decided to give him something to read for 30 seconds.